[0:00]Here's a fax from Cooter in Orlando, who sends me a copy of a story that appeared in the Los Angeles Times.
[0:06]He says, a prestigious newspaper, not the oft-maligned Weekly World News.
[0:14]Quoting the story,
[0:15]In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake, but I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil.
[0:22]Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the severe burns unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
[0:28]Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew Kinky Farnham, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
[0:39]I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggett, our gerbil, in, he explained.
[0:46]As usual, Kinky shouted out, Armageddon!
[0:49]My cue that he'd had enough.
[0:53]I tried to retrieve Raggett, but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube.
[0:58]I struck a match, thinking the light might have attacked him.
[1:06]At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next.
[1:12]The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and flames shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face.
[1:22]It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent...
[1:32]Tomaszewski suffered second-degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil.
[1:57]Farnham suffered first and second-degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.
[2:05]Armageddon!
[2:06]The tube struck a match, thinking the light might make the gerbil come out.
[2:29]So that's what felching is all about.
[2:31]Armageddon!
[2:33]Who says that? I didn't.
[2:35]Robert D. Raymond on the John Bourne Billy Show.
[2:38]Robert D. Raymond on the John Bourne Billy Show.