[0:06]July 8 1991 I am 22 years old and I'm sitting on the floor of my Brooklyn Brownstone apartment
[0:15]just beaming because I am in it and I am doing it everything I said I was gonna do I'm a working professional dancer in New York City
[0:25]I just come back from Japan dancing with a company six days a week I had acting agents and modeling agents I walked on to a Yokohama Subway once
[0:34]looked up and saw my face on an ad when MC Hammer came through Tokyo onto where I got that job too because in the 90s dance world I was the white girl that could throw it
[0:46]down with the big boys July 8th 1991 sitting on the floor of that Brooklyn Brownstone apartment was
[0:55]light years from where I grew up with my little brother and my single mom in a trailer where this packet of hot dogs was for Wednesday's dinner and this box of macaroni and cheese was for
[1:06]Thursday's dinner and there wasn't much left over for extras so when I begged my mom at 16 years old please can I have dance classes she said if you want to do this you're going to
[1:16]have to pay for it yourself so I did I babysat I clean trailers I answered phones in an office because of that first time
[1:26]the music was cranked up full volume it just pushed my body around the studio I was home
[1:36]and I knew that day and teen beginner Jazz class I was going to be a professional dancer and I didn't even ask my teacher whether she thought I was good enough because I thought if she said yes I'm gonna do
[1:47]everything I can to prove she's right and if she says no I'm going to do everything I can to prove she's wrong just kept dancing
[1:56]so fast forward six years later here I am sitting on the floor of my Brooklyn Brownstone apartment July 8 1991 reading and rereading my name on my paycheck for
[2:08]being a backup dancer for Aretha Franklin Feel It In My Bones if this was just the beginning and the very next day
[2:22]July 9th 1991. I was raped by Jeffrey Epstein within two weeks of the assault my face
[2:35]broke out in this hive-like acne within three months I was overcome with anxiety and insomnia and a fear of everything so I had to move out of New
[2:47]York within six months I could pull a pair of size zero genes down off of my hips without unbuttoning them and that that one event left me emotionally
[2:58]overwhelmed and numb all at the same time completely disconnected from my body and unable to feel safe in the world
[3:09]for decades classic post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD and that brave girl that driven one who didn't even need her dance teacher's
[3:20]permission or validation that girl's Spirit was obliterated because when I was assaulted I didn't scream
[3:32]or fight or run I just froze and so I blamed myself because in 1991 we only ever talked about fight or flight
[3:43]and I didn't know then that to freeze is not to consent and yes I have this agonizingly
[3:52]beautiful healing story events and magical miraculous people who have come into my life and changed it for good it's a great story
[4:04]but I never wanted to be just another Survivor story or I feel better for having shared and you feel good because I'm talking about it so I must be okay then right
[4:15]and nothing changes because although I know you're here and you wouldn't be watching a tedx talk if you weren't the type of person that
[4:25]wanted to learn and be inspired and be part of the change you wish to see in the world I also know that though
[4:36]you'll hear my words you may not really be listening and it's not just you
[4:46]no one's really listening youth organizations like the Boy Scouts Sports organizations like USA Gymnastics and women's soccer
[4:56]School administrations universities HR departments the entire entertainment industry police FBI
[5:07]politicians presidents all of them not listening I mean thousands of priests thousands
[5:18]and the Pope popes not listening why will you be different what will make
[5:27]today difference because I have to tell you it is not special or unique that it was Jeffrey Epstein
[5:37]my story is just easier to hear because it was Jeffrey Epstein this Infamous tabloid billionaire sex offender pedophile owned an island and let's face it it's a lot easier for
[5:49]me to tell you my story because once you heard his name I know you believed me according to the brain rape abuse incest
[6:00]national network an American is sexually assaulted every 68 seconds and every nine minutes that victim is a child and I think those stats are grossly
[6:10]underrated because I know that the majority of survivors are assaulted by people they know and trust so they
[6:18]don't report because it's complicated and that means that it's not just the Jeffrey epsteins of the world
[6:27]committing these atrocities it's the people in our communities in our workplace and our schools
[6:38]and our families I don't think you're not listening because you don't care I think we are all not listening because when we truly consider
[6:49]the sheer volume of it and who is doing it paralyzing and no one's telling us what to do because no one knows what to do and I know that's a lie a lot and I just
[7:03]want to say you're all doing a really good job of listening right now so thank you thank you for coming my TED Talk oh my God could you imagine if I stopped right there and was like yeah good night everybody
[7:14]and that was it unfortunately that's that's actually where we are as a society we are stuck we are stuck in this injury trauma which
[7:25]perpetuates more injury and Trauma and so on and so on this cycle that seems insurmountable disagree
[7:37]I actually believe we have everything right we need right now to break this cycle and we've done it before
[7:47]we as a society experience Unthinkable tragedies all the time and we have lessons learned
[7:56]we develop ways to prevent tragedy from happening again but we also develop safety strategies to minimize the harm when the unthinkable happens prevention
[8:08]and safety strategy prevention don't play with matches in the house safety strategy but if by chance you
[8:18]happen to catch fire little one please stop drop and roll yep prevention breaking systems in cars
[8:29]safety strategy seat belts and car seats seat belts and car seats are not going to prevent a car accident but they give us a sense of control and peace of mind that we are taking personal
[8:40]responsibility for protecting ourselves and our children from severe bodily harm or death when a car accident happens because we acknowledge that damage happens in car accidents
[8:52]and preventing car accidents and fire is very very important safety strategies everyday common sense and ironically
[9:04]we teach five-year-olds to stop drop and roll and they are 117 times more likely to experience sexual harm than ever to
[9:13]catch on fire and we have exactly zero societally agreed upon safety strategies to minimize the damage when that
[9:23]Unthinkable thing happens maybe it's because we don't acknowledge the life-altering damage that happens
[9:33]because I learned I was not alone my team and I found study after alarming study High correlation between sexual violence and post-traumatic stress disorder
[9:45]percentages that matched an often rivaled those of War veterans War veterans PTSD is an invisible debilitating
[9:55]psychological brain injury and it is not just caused by the event alone I mean if you have an injury a wound
[10:05]and you could attention it heals if you have a wound that is ignored dismissed
[10:13]rejected vehemently denied for being a wound investors badly we have an abundance of effective sexual
[10:27]violence and prevention awareness programs out there right now we as a society are sorely lacking basic
[10:37]first aid for sexual harm to minimize the damage and that dilemma reminded me of something that happened the day after I was assaulted I went to work my friend Joanne was there and she saw something
[10:49]wrong right away and she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the office I broke down into tears and I told her a fraction of what happened because I was too humiliated to tell her the whole thing
[11:00]and she said in her very clear mind and strong voice Jessica we need to go to the police but me and my now
[11:10]traumatized and fragile mind thought who is going to believe 22 year old dancer next to this wealthy Wall Street guy with a plane so I just shut it down and I
[11:22]internalized all of that pain and the shame and I rewarded my dear kind loyal trustworthy friend by not speaking to her again for almost
[11:33]30 years when I thought about that moment I realized Joanne did everything right she was the an awesome friend she saw
[11:43]something wrong and asked me about it she believed me with very little information she knew what to do when I was too traumatized to think straight and she was brave enough to offer to go
[11:53]with me to the police in 1991 we all need a friend like Joanne I was thinking we don't we don't need to
[12:03]be mental health professionals with phds to be a good human a safe human for others in a traumatized and unsafe moment we can all do a lot with just a little
[12:14]bit of preparation we can all learn sexual assault first aid skills I know you've never heard of sexual assault first day because I made it up it's not a thing yet I also developed a really simple safety
[12:27]strategy for sexual harm that anybody can do we can do it right now and we can be prepared and not scared
[12:36]it's called three Joanns after my friend when I say three because too often are cultural conditioning expects an individual to be
[12:46]extraordinary to step up and stop the bad thing from happening in the world all alone not gonna do that
[12:57]we are going to create a positive Community response to sexual harm together in three simple steps so step number one you're going to
[13:08]choose your people I want you to think right now of three trustworthy responsible courageous people
[13:17]three Joanns people that you would rely on in a crisis could be a Joanne could be a John not a Karen anyone of any Identity or experience
[13:30]that you trust I want you to picture those three J's in your mind right now you got them okay so step two you're gonna plan a safety strategy
[13:40]because just like you do not want to be learning CPR on YouTube while someone's having a heart attack you want to plan so you're going to put a date on the calendar you're going to gather your
[13:51]three JS at in your living room with a laptop a cell phone Notepad and Pen pottedy whatever you need to get through this next part because you're going to research
[14:03]what do you say or not say to someone who has experienced sexual harm and I cannot stress to you enough how important those few words are going to
[14:13]mean to that hurting human that hears them you're going to research do you go to the police the hospital neither do you call one of the local hotline the
[14:24]national one or both does your hospital have a forensic nurse examiner because not all hospitals in all states do and it's an issue
[14:34]my friend Julia she's a Rape Crisis counselor in hospitals on the weekends and she said that 80 of sexual assault victims come into the hospital on the weekend all alone
[14:44]don't let any of your three Jays go to the hospital alone and bring an extra set of clothes and while you are researching those local and
[14:55]National sexual violence resources I want you to take your phone put it on speaker and you're going to call those hotlines and you're going to say to them so what does your agency do exactly when someone calls you after they've been raped
[15:07]or what can I do when someone in my life has experienced this does that feel uncomfortable
[15:16]awkward scary imagine having to do it all alone after you've been assaulted chances are you won't
[15:27]so do it now plan your your strategy now together step three is you're going to make your mantra
[15:37]trauma experts know that early intervention is key to help trauma survivors overcome the trauma build resilience and heal successfully so you
[15:48]and your three days are going to choose a secret word or an emoji like pineapple or sunflower or red balloon and that red balloon is going to be your
[15:58]911 bat signal to each other and then you're going to make your Pact you promised that within 24 hours of any questionable sexual behavior you are
[16:09]going to text that red balloon to your 3js because you trust them and your three Joanne's are going to promise right back as soon as they receive that red balloon
[16:20]no details need to be shared they're going to be there for you no questions asked because the person that sent that red balloon is going to struggle to repeat the words of what happens right
[16:32]afterwards so don't make them just red balloon and your safety strategy goes into action having three Joann's or three days
[16:43]normalizes a swift empowered life-saving Community safety strategy for sexual harm whenever and wherever it happens so
[16:52]that we're we're prepared and not scared lastly get this Imagine This when humans with predatory sexual
[17:04]behavior learn we are no longer afraid of talking about this in fact within 24 hours three people are going to be told automatically
[17:15]of any sexual questionable sexual activity and families and communities are listening
[17:24]with safety strategies already in place I believe having three Joanns or three days will
[17:37]be the deterrent to sexual harm we've all been waiting for thank you [Applause] foreign