[0:00]Amber, Senator, I'm gonna show you some highlights
[0:03]from the week that was.
[0:03]You tell me, what's the story?
[0:07]Okay, the Department of Justice,
[0:09]old man yap-a-lot, oh no, Epstein, no, and redacted.
[0:15]This story is about Epstein and all the things
[0:18]he may or may not have done.
[0:20]I'm gonna say he may have done them.
[0:22]Yeah.
[0:24]Let's get the first thing out the way off the top.
[0:26]Who sitting right here?
[0:29]No.
[0:30]Right now.
[0:32]Is in the Epstein files.
[0:34]Senator.
[0:37]Senator, right here, what are you talking about?
[0:38]Only in newspaper articles, please.
[0:40]Yes, who else?
[0:44]What?
[0:45]Look at Michael.
[0:49]Michael, make eye contact with me, Michael.
[0:52]So this is true, this is true.
[0:54]Hassan, you and I are in the Epstein files.
[0:58]But no, it's for doing political,
[1:00]calm down, we gonna get to it.
[1:03]Don't ever get to why, let me just enjoy it.
[1:06]No, no, I have to get to why.
[1:09]You're all nasty.
[1:12]No, Hassan and I are in the files
[1:15]for doing political comedy shows.
[1:16]Senator Schiff is in there for a bunch of news headlines
[1:19]and Michael Ian Black is in there
[1:21]for his show on something called Crackle.
[1:24]Okay.
[1:26]So Amber, it looks like you are the odd one out
[1:30]when it comes to who's in the Epstein files.
[1:33]No, we've had about a week to take in all of it.
[1:35]Wait a second, this is, bro, we're boys.
[1:41]And you text me, hey, come on the show.
[1:46]And you're gonna ambush, like,
[1:47]you're gonna ambush me in act one with,
[1:51]comedian friend of mine, I mean,
[1:53]who's in the Epstein files?
[1:54]I'm like, hey, how do you think I feel?
[1:58]Senator, you know what you signed up for.
[2:01]We and him.
[2:03]It's not you, we and him.
[2:07]It's we.
[2:08]Right, we're in this together.
[2:10]They're clearly playing a version of hide the slime ball
[2:13]with all these redactions.
[2:15]The fact that they dig up you and Crackle,
[2:19]that they can find,
[2:21]but all the other stuff ends up redacted.
[2:24]Right, nobody has ever even heard
[2:28]of this streaming platform, Crackle.
[2:30]But somehow, I'm in the goddamn Epstein files.
[2:37]Senator Schiff, can you remind us exactly,
[2:40]like how did that happen
[2:42]and what giant trove came out of last week's release?
[2:46]Well, you'll remember during the campaign,
[2:48]Trump and the people around him
[2:50]were promising they were gonna release the files,
[2:52]they were gonna finally have transparency.
[2:54]Trump gets into office, it's the last thing
[2:57]that he wants.
[2:58]Let's get into the details of these files
[3:00]a little bit more with the game I like to call
[3:03]Remember 2008?
[3:06]If you don't remember 2008, those were seminal years,
[3:09]Barack Obama's first term in office,
[3:11]Iron Man dropped, starting the whole Marvel empire,
[3:13]and a gentleman named Flo Rida
[3:15]reminded us to get low, low, low, low.
[3:19]Does anyone know what else happened in 2008?
[3:22]Is that the year Epstein first went to prison
[3:24]for soliciting sex from a child?
[3:27]Points for you!
[3:29]That's good, that's impressive.
[3:32]2008 was the year Jeffrey Epstein pleaded guilty
[3:35]to solicitation of prostitution with a minor
[3:38]and was sentenced to 18 months in prison.
[3:41]So if people hang out with Jeffrey Epstein
[3:44]before 2008, maybe he's just a weird rich guy,
[3:48]but if people hang out with him after 2008,
[3:51]they're hanging out with a dude
[3:53]who admitted to soliciting sex with kids.
[3:56]So let's start off easy.
[3:58]Who was that?
[3:59]Howard Lutnick!
[4:00]Yeah, that's Trump's Commerce Secretary,
[4:01]and he kinda looked like your mama's first boyfriend
[4:04]after a divorce.
[4:06]We've talked previously on the show about Lutnick
[4:08]and the whole relationship with Epstein,
[4:11]they live next door to him.
[4:12]And so in 2005, he had a little chit chat
[4:15]with Epstein, 2005.
[4:18]Is that before or after 2008?
[4:20]Before!
[4:21]Before.
[4:22]Yes it is before.
[4:23]So maybe Lutnick didn't know what Epstein was up to,
[4:27]and here's what Lutnick most famously said
[4:29]about his 2005 visit with Epstein.
[4:32]My wife and I decided that I will never be in the room
[4:37]with that disgusting person ever again.
[4:40]So I was never in the room with him socially,
[4:45]for business, or even philanthropy.
[4:48]If that guy was there, I wasn't going,
[4:50]because he's gross.
[4:53]Good for him.
[4:54]That's right.
[4:55]You know what?
[4:56]I'm revising my opinion about Howard Lutnick.
[4:58]Here I thought this guy was just a greasy,
[5:02]grifting, corrupt, money laundering Commerce Secretary,
[5:07]but now I know that he's a man of high moral fiber.
[5:11]Roy?
[5:12]Here's CBS News with the answer.
[5:13]Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick arranged a visit
[5:16]to Epstein's island with his wife and children in 2012,
[5:19]after which Epstein passed along this message
[5:21]to Lutnick, nice seeing you.
[5:24]Okay, but 2012 is before 2008, like we said, right?
[5:28]Like, why would you, hey man, nice seeing you,
[5:31]like you would never email your drug dealer
[5:33]after buying the drug, hey, thank you for the drugs,
[5:36]again.
[5:39]We learned about this guy in the Epstein files.
[5:42]Pitbull.
[5:43]Is there any guesses on who that is?
[5:46]Did someone say Pitbull?
[5:49]That is the new CBS medical correspondent,
[5:52]Peter Attila, hired by the terrific Barry Weiss.
[5:54]Yes, that is celebrity doctor
[5:56]and part-time Vin Diesel impersonator, Peter Attila,
[6:00]and he recently got a new job
[6:02]and he really wanna keep that job.
[6:04]The Epstein files also show hundreds of references
[6:07]to the name of author Peter Attila,
[6:09]who was recently hired as a CBS News contributor,
[6:12]including a crude sexual message by Attila.
[6:15]Attila posted a statement apologizing
[6:17]and saying he was not involved
[6:18]in any criminal activity.
[6:20]Paramount Skydance, owner of CBS News,
[6:22]did not immediately respond to my request for comment.
[6:25]Isn't he at CBS?
[6:27]Ask yourself.
[6:28]We've all been at work and you get the,
[6:30]can we chat?
[6:34]Do you think maybe there's just so many people
[6:36]in the Epstein files that they're like,
[6:38]man, 90% of the people on this panel are in the Epstein.
[6:45]Do you think they're just like,
[6:46]it'll come for all of us eventually?
[6:48]The Epstein files are like death.
[6:52]It turns out Attila's name is mentioned
[6:54]in the Epstein files more than 1,700 times
[6:59]according to Attila's own book.
[7:01]I haven't read Peter Attila's book, I'll be honest.
[7:04]Okay.
[7:05]I've got several copies of it,
[7:07]but I haven't read it yet.
[7:09]Attila tried to make a date with Epstein
[7:12]while his baby was in the ICU.
[7:15]Oh Jesus.
[7:16]In his book Outlive, Attila says his wife called him
[7:19]on Tuesday, July 11th.
[7:21]She was on her way to the hospital
[7:23]where their baby then stayed for four days.
[7:25]Instead of going to be with them,
[7:27]it appears that Attila got up the next morning
[7:30]and made a date with Jeffrey Epstein.
[7:32]Now, according to Attila,
[7:33]he did not come home to San Diego until 10 days later.
[7:38]No!
[7:39]Here's celebrity doctor and husband of the year himself.
[7:43]So I'm here with my wife right now
[7:44]and she put the question to me.
[7:46]Do you think any other woman could be married to you?
[7:52]I responded, absolutely.
[7:55]I'm a catch.
[7:56]I think lots of women could be married to me.
[7:59]10 days, 10 days.
[8:01]That means he has like no regard for children, of course.
[8:06]I got there, I got there myself.
[8:09]How is Peter Attila being held
[8:10]accountable for his actions, Hassan?
[8:12]I'm assuming none, there's no accountability.
[8:15]That's just my hot take.
[8:15]Yeah, well, if we're talking about accountability
[8:18]for Peter Attila, the answer is that
[8:20]there will be no accountability.
[8:22]According to the LA Times, Peter Attila
[8:23]will be keeping his job at CBS.
[8:32]Hear that?
[8:32]It's the ghost of all the people in the Epstein fight.
[8:35]CBS has a new editorial policy,
[8:40]which is to say, no policy, anything goes apparently.
[8:44]Anything that doesn't displease the president
[8:47]is their policy.
[8:48]Let it roll.
[8:50]Let's talk about a guy who is experiencing
[8:52]some degree of consequences for his relationship
[8:54]with Epstein, and that's the former chairman
[8:56]of the Paul Weiss law firm, Brad Karp.
[8:59]Brad corresponded with Epstein in 2016,
[9:02]and he had a special request.
[9:04]In one email exchange, Karp appears to ask Epstein
[9:07]for help, getting his son a job on a Woody Allen movie.
[9:10]Epstein-Woody Allen crossover.
[9:13]That's like Freddy versus Jason.
[9:15]You remember that, Alien Predator.
[9:18]Except it's just Predator versus Predator.
[9:23]Now, why might the Paul Weiss law firm sound familiar?
[9:26]This is when, when Trump first came into office,
[9:28]there were a bunch of law offices
[9:31]that rather than get sued by Trump said,
[9:32]we'll just do pro bono work for you
[9:35]to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars,
[9:37]and they were the first one to do that.
[9:38]Yes.
[9:39]Oh, no.
[9:40]Wait, so there were like the eight of them
[9:41]for corruption, is what you're saying?
[9:42]That's exactly what it was.
[9:45]It was part of a legal deal to give tens of millions
[9:47]of dollars in free legal work
[9:48]to cause this back by Donald Trump.
[9:50]Now, for double point,
[9:52]who was the person who brokered that deal?
[9:55]Same dude, Brad, yes.
[9:58]I was sure it was gonna be Woody Allen.
[9:59]Now, let's move on to our old pal, Elon Musk.
[10:06]Don't boo, sometimes it's the same dude,
[10:10]don't boo, sometimes it's good to see
[10:11]a familiar creepy looking person.
[10:15]When the new trova files came out,
[10:17]Musk tweeted quote,
[10:19]Epstein hounded me relentlessly to go to his pitot island
[10:22]and I always declined.
[10:24]Question, is that what the emails really say?
[10:32]Please show it now.
[10:34]This appears to be an email from Elon Musk
[10:36]to Epstein in 2012, asking what day night
[10:39]will be the wildest party on your island?
[10:42]Musk, who repeatedly has called for the release
[10:44]of an Epstein client list, denies any wrongdoing.
[10:47]Writing over the weekend,
[10:48]if I actually wanted to spend my time
[10:50]partying with young women,
[10:52]it would be trivial for me to do so
[10:54]without the help of a creepy loser like Epstein.
[10:57]I could throw my own creepy party.
[10:59]What is this story?
[11:02]This is Pam Bondi testifying about Epstein
[11:06]and she talked and talked and talked
[11:08]and didn't say shit.
[11:12]The story is Pam Bondi in Trump's Department of Justice.
[11:15]The DOJ has America saying WTF
[11:17]and it all starts with a certain PDF file
[11:20]full of PDF files.
[11:23]On Wednesday, Attorney General Pam Bondi
[11:26]appeared before the House Judiciary Committee
[11:28]to answer questions about her handling
[11:31]of the Epstein files
[11:32]and Bondi was nothing but a professional.
[11:36]No, I'm gonna answer the question the way
[11:38]I wanna answer the question.
[11:39]No, you're gonna answer the question
[11:40]the way I asked it.
[11:42]I'm not gonna get in the gutter with these people.
[11:44]You don't tell me anything.
[11:45]Oh, I did tell you
[11:46]because we saw what you did in the Senate.
[11:49]Not even a lawyer.
[11:49]I'm talking, I'm talking, quiet.
[11:52]Don't yell at me.
[11:53]Didn't ask Merrick Garland anything about Epstein.
[11:56]Not once when he was.
[11:57]Weak sauce, weak sauce.
[11:58]And also.
[12:00]You gotta give Pam Bondi this.
[12:02]She's good at spinning some shit.
[12:05]You don't get that good overnight.
[12:06]That's hours of complaining at McDonald's
[12:09]and Home Depot.
[12:11]What I really love is this one woman's facial expression
[12:13]just says it all.
[12:14]Why was Pam Bondi in front
[12:18]of the Judiciary Committee in the first place?
[12:21]Because the DOJ wouldn't release the Epstein files
[12:23]the way they should have.
[12:24]Redaction, redaction, redaction.
[12:26]That's all you got.
[12:27]Yeah, Congress was granted access
[12:29]to unredacted versions of the Epstein files
[12:32]for the first time,
[12:33]but they hit some roadblocks.
[12:35]Question, what's been standing in the way
[12:38]of Congress gaining full unredacted access
[12:42]to the Epstein files?
[12:43]First of all, the Department of Justice,
[12:45]and if you want to see them as a Congress person,
[12:47]they've got four computers.
[12:49]Four computers.
[12:50]There's four computers.
[12:51]So it would take many months
[12:55]to actually have the time.
[12:57]I only had a few hours.
[12:59]I think the transparency argument is really kind
[13:02]of a sham because it's not really possible.
[13:04]Wait, wait, wait.
[13:05]Did you have to wait to get a computer?
[13:06]It is not possible.
[13:07]Four computers.
[13:10]Like the library, bitch.
[13:12]Like you just.
[13:13]My library has more than four computers.
[13:15]I gotta be honest.
[13:16]Turns out Congress can only look at the files
[13:19]between 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. on weekdays,
[13:22]and they have to give the DOJ 24 hours notice
[13:25]before they look at them.
[13:26]And only members of Congress are allowed
[13:28]to look at the files and log in and read them.
[13:31]What is the average age of a member of Congress?
[13:33]It's like 87, 88, something like that?
[13:37]They don't know how to use computers?
[13:39]What is the one thing that's making matters even worse
[13:42]once they've accessed the file?
[13:43]Is it that they're scratching sniff?
[13:47]It's because the DOJ is tracking
[13:49]which members of Congress looked at the files,
[13:52]and they're tracking which files they looked at.
[13:55]We have learned from this photo
[13:57]that the searches that members of Congress
[13:59]are performing are apparently being tracked
[14:02]and then read by the Department of Justice,
[14:05]by the Attorney General.
[14:07]If you look at the photo from inside Bundy's binder,
[14:10]you can see she literally has a list of everything
[14:13]that Representative Jayapal searched for.
[14:15]One congressperson even clocked what she was doing
[14:18]as it happened.
[14:19]I'd like to see you flip to the Jared Moskowitz section
[14:22]of the binder.
[14:23]I'm interested to see what staff provided
[14:25]on the op-o on me, and because we're in the Olympics,
[14:29]I'm gonna give it a grade.
[14:30]I just wanna see how good it is.
[14:32]So give me your best one.
[14:34]So first of all, nothing is funny
[14:36]about mocking the Bible and holding up a Trump Bible.
[14:39]That's what you did.
[14:40]You made a joke and I find a fence to that.
[14:42]That's all I have to say.
[14:44]I want it from the burn book.
[14:45]I want it from the burn book, which is the best one.
[14:47]What you got?
[14:47]Thank you.
[14:48]Maryland Rep. Jimmy Raskin didn't think
[14:54]there was anything fun about Pam's peeking though.
[14:57]It is a violation of the separation of powers
[14:59]for them to essentially be monitoring
[15:02]our computer searches on the Epstein file.
[15:06]So I think it's outrageous that they would do that,
[15:09]and it's Orwellian, and we're gonna have some more
[15:13]to say about it soon.
[15:14]I mean, Mike Johnson and his son monitor
[15:17]each other's porn usage, so this seems fine.
[15:21]Bondi continued to blow up throughout her testimony,
[15:24]and what was the most damning moment
[15:26]for A.G. Bondi during this hearing?
[15:29]When she was finally honest and was like,
[15:31]look, I love to protect pedophiles.
[15:34]It's what I was hired to do, and I'm gonna do it,
[15:37]and I'm gonna fight anyone who says I can't.
[15:42]Do you remember that part?
[15:45]I do.
[15:46]I must admit, I was flipping between that and the Olympics,
[15:49]so I must have missed it.
[15:50]There was a moment where all the survivors,
[15:52]about a dozen of them, stood up, right,
[15:54]and they all looked at Pam Bondi,
[15:55]and Pam Bondi didn't look at them once.
[15:57]That moment right there, I think,
[15:59]ends her tenure as attorney general.
[16:01]I mean...
[16:04]Points for Aaron.
[16:06]Why would anyone ever expect Pam Bondi
[16:10]to make a stand against assault?
[16:12]She made a big show right at the beginning of the administration.
[16:15]We're gonna get out these files,
[16:17]and she gave them to a bunch of right-wing influencers,
[16:20]and she was making a whole big deal of it.
[16:22]The reason why it's so shocking
[16:23]that Pam Bondi is against defending victims of assault
[16:28]is because she said she would in 2014
[16:31]during this campaign ad.
[16:33]Florida ranks third nationally
[16:35]in calls for help for human trafficking,
[16:38]where young women and children are enslaved and abused.
[16:42]I'll fight to put human trafficking monsters
[16:45]where they belong behind bars.
[16:47]Pam Bondi, our attorney general.
[16:50]Oh!
[16:51]That's our attorney general, you booing.
[16:55]Hello!
[16:59]I'll put human traffickers behind bars.
[17:02]By bars, I mean little black bars on sheets of paper.
[17:07]Bars are slimming.
[17:08]They are. Yes.
[17:10]That's what they told me when they put me in jail the first time.
[17:14]Here's Pam saying what we should be talking about instead.
[17:17]The Dow is over $50,000...
[17:19]I don't know why you're laughing.
[17:20]You're a great stock trader, as I hear, Raskin.
[17:23]The Dow is over $50,000 right now.
[17:27]The S&P at almost $7,000.
[17:31]And the NASDAQ smashing records.
[17:34]Americans' 401Ks and retirement savings are booming.
[17:39]That's what we should be talking about.
[17:41]What does the Dow have to do with anything?
[17:43]That's what they just asked.
[17:44]Are you kidding?
[17:46]The stock is at $50,000!
[17:49]The market did fall below $50,000
[17:51]even after she finished testifying.
[17:55]You were at that hearing, right?
[17:56]I was right outside. They didn't let me in.
[17:58]Did you speak to the survivors?
[18:00]Yeah.
[18:00]And what can you share about what they said after the hearing?
[18:04]They're horrified, right? They're horrified.
[18:05]It's not just Pam Bondi.
[18:07]It's been five administrations.
[18:09]It's been several departments of justice.
[18:12]They just want justice.
[18:13]And instead, they get their own witness statements
[18:15]that they told the FBI, and it's all blacked out.
[18:18]They can't even see their own documents, right?
[18:21]So they're horrified.
[18:23]Bondi wasn't the only Trump administration official
[18:25]to testify about Epstein this week.
[18:28]Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick
[18:30]answered questions about his relationship
[18:33]with the apex pedophile
[18:35]before Congressional Committee this week.
[18:37]What did Howard have to say
[18:39]about his association with Epstein?
[18:42]That it was nothing!
[18:45]Why are you even talking about it?
[18:46]It barely, barely knows the guy.
[18:49]Yes, they spent a lot of time together.
[18:53]Here's Lutnick.
[18:54]I did have lunch with him
[18:56]as I was on a boat going across on a family vacation.
[19:00]My wife was with me,
[19:02]as were my four children and nannies.
[19:05]I had another couple with...
[19:07]They were there as well with their children,
[19:11]and we had lunch on the island.
[19:13]That is true for an hour,
[19:15]and we left with all of my children.
[19:19]He knows how bad it is
[19:20]because he felt the need to say
[19:23]that he left with his children.
[19:28]If I go to a friend's house for lunch with my kids
[19:31]and I'm telling somebody about it,
[19:33]I then don't say,
[19:34]and my children left, too.
[19:36]Who's actually facing consequences
[19:39]for their connections to Epstein
[19:41]and being in the files?
[19:42]The royal formerly known as Prince.
[19:44]That's one of them.
[19:45]Oh, that's true.
[19:46]When you say Prince,
[19:47]you gotta put Andrew right behind that immediately.
[19:49]The black people know.
[19:51]You don't just go formally known as Prince.
[19:55]You're like, nah.
[19:58]There's a bunch of Brits, I feel like,
[19:59]who are in a lot of trouble.
[20:00]Oh, we've got the ambassador, Mendelsohn.
[20:03]You've got the Sultan from Dubai,
[20:05]who has just resigned today.
[20:06]Wait, Sultans can resign?
[20:08]Well, I think his first name's Sultan.
[20:10]Oh, okay.
[20:12]That's right, baby.
[20:13]Get up. Thank you.
[20:17]And then there's Elon Musk.
[20:19]Who's Elon Musk been coming for this week?
[20:22]It's Steve Bannon.
[20:23]That sounds so right, Aaron.
[20:25]I wanna trade teammates.
[20:26]Yeah.
[20:27]Yeah.
[20:28]Yeah.
[20:29]Yeah.
[20:29]It is Steve Bannon.
[20:31]Despite being mentioned in the files himself,
[20:33]Elon's been tweeting about human mucinex blob,
[20:36]Steve Bannon.
[20:38]Bannon's all over the files.
[20:40]He and Jeffrey Epstein have a selfie together,
[20:42]and in 2019, the same year Epstein went to jail
[20:46]for the last time,
[20:47]Bannon texted Epstein an offer to rebuild his image
[20:52]by producing a documentary
[20:54]about what a great philanthropist he is.
[20:57]Yes.
[20:58]The name of that documentary?
[20:59]Melania.
[21:03]Now, Pam Bondi might not be interested
[21:05]in what Epstein's victims have to say,
[21:08]but some of those victims sat down with NBC News
[21:11]just after the hearing.
[21:13]So there's the crimes of Jeffrey Epstein,
[21:15]and then there's the crimes of the cover-up,
[21:17]and she's part of that continuing cover-up.
[21:20]So she didn't apologize for that.
[21:22]It's like, oh, the theater,
[21:23]and I'm like, yes, you're the main character in this.
[21:27]The circus act.
[21:28]Yes.
[21:29]She was a comedian, too, all of a sudden.
[21:30]Yes.
[21:31]Everyone was laughing at her.
[21:32]Do you believe they did the best they could?
[21:37]Do they not know the Dow is at 50,000?
[21:40]What is the story?
[21:43]This story is about Trump.
[21:46]He has bins coming into town.
[21:48]Tariffs, tariffs.
[21:49]Yeah, and everyone was like, no, you don't.
[21:51]Bad, bad.
[21:53]Yes, the story is the Supreme Court
[21:55]struck down Trump's sweeping tariffs,
[21:57]upending a central plank of his economic agenda.
[22:01]He was hosting a breakfast with governors
[22:03]when he got the news.
[22:04]Apparently, the breakfast had been going well.
[22:06]They were working together,
[22:08]and then President Trump became enraged.
[22:10]He started ranting about the decision,
[22:13]not only calling it a disgrace,
[22:14]but started attacking the courts,
[22:16]at one point saying, these effing courts,
[22:19]but using the actual language there.
[22:21]We know that President Trump
[22:22]does use expletives on quite often.
[22:26]Trump collected himself,
[22:27]and our effing president addressed the news
[22:31]from the White House aquarium this afternoon.
[22:35]Is he on American Idol?
[22:39]In reference to having the tariffs
[22:40]getting slapped down by SCOTUS, what do you think?
[22:44]Give me a word that the president used.
[22:46]An American.
[22:47]He was ashamed of them.
[22:49]I'm ashamed of certain members of the court.
[22:52]Absolutely ashamed for not having the courage
[22:55]to do what's right for our country.
[22:58]They're very unpatriotic and disloyal to our Constitution.
[23:02]It's my opinion that the court has been swayed
[23:04]by foreign interests and a political movement
[23:07]that is far smaller than people would ever think.
[23:11]It's a small movement.
[23:15]Small.
[23:16]I'm afraid of that word movement when you say it like that.
[23:19]What part of the decision
[23:20]was President Trump most angry about?
[23:24]They didn't mention Melania, the movie.
[23:27]Probably that he has to go through Congress.
[23:29]He was so offended that he would have to do that.
[23:32]President Trump was mad
[23:34]that the decision limits a lot of his powers.
[23:36]Here's how he described it.
[23:38]To show you how ridiculous the opinion is, however,
[23:41]the court said that I'm not allowed to charge even one dollar.
[23:45]I can't charge one dollar.
[23:48]Can't charge a dollar.
[23:50]I would have used one penny,
[23:51]but we don't make the pennies anymore.
[23:52]We save money.
[23:53]I can do anything I want, but I can't charge one dollar.
[23:57]You ever seen them furniture commercials in the 80s
[23:59]where the dude be like, they say I can't do it,
[24:01]but come on down, and I'm gonna charge you a lot of dollars.
[24:06]Get that couch for a dollar.
[24:07]I'm crazy dollar, and I got that couch.
[24:12]Also in front of the American Idol Aquarium,
[24:15]a president made a big announcement during this briefing.
[24:18]What was the big announcement he made?
[24:20]He didn't poop his pants this time.
[24:21]Yeah.
[24:24]Sorry, it's a rumor I had to get out.
[24:26]Allegedly.
[24:27]In the briefing, Trump announced defiantly,
[24:30]we're going to do more tariffs than ever before.
[24:35]Today, I will sign an order to impose a 10% global tariff
[24:39]under section 122, over and above our normal tariffs.
[24:44]Why do you think he feels so sad and betrayed
[24:46]by the Supreme Court?
[24:47]Because he thought he owned the Supreme Court,
[24:50]and to be honest, I thought he owned the Supreme Court.
[24:54]Turns out he doesn't totally own the Supreme Court,
[24:57]and that's good news.
[24:58]Do you feel like this is the one that they give you,
[25:00]like the Supreme Court just gives the American people
[25:01]to throw you off the scent, but oh no,
[25:03]we always care about giving tariffs,
[25:06]but yeah, them women voting.
[25:08]I think part of why Trump felt so betrayed
[25:13]is because according to him,
[25:15]he had tried to be so nice to the court.
[25:18]I want to be very well-behaved
[25:21]because I wanted to do anything,
[25:23]I didn't want to do anything that would affect
[25:25]the decision of the court,
[25:27]because I understand the court.
[25:29]I understand how they're very easily swayed.
[25:34]I want to be a good boy.
[25:36]Oh my God, is he living the end of Pinocchio?
[25:40]He's just like, I've been a good boy
[25:42]and now I'll be a real boy.
[25:44]I'm like, why is he doing that?
[25:47]Let's just say that the Supreme Court has decided
[25:50]you cannot collect tariffs,
[25:53]but up until that decision,
[25:55]you have been collecting tariffs.
[25:58]Does he have to give the money back?
[25:59]What?
[26:00]Oh, he's not gonna like this.
[26:03]Which retail giant is part of a lawsuit
[26:07]to recoup their lost tariff money?
[26:10]J.C. Penney.
[26:14]I said giant.
[26:18]With the A, they had they run,
[26:19]I'm not shitting on J.C. Penney.
[26:22]Who are we talking about today?
[26:23]It feels like you're doing that.
[26:25]Montgomery Ward.
[26:29]It's probably Costco,
[26:30]because everybody goes to Costco.
[26:31]It's Costco.
[26:34]A bunch of companies have already
[26:35]drawn a lawsuit to get their money back,
[26:36]including Costco, Revlon, Bumblebee Tuna, and Kawasaki.
[26:42]I ain't no Bumblebee Tuna had that gangsta in him.
[26:46]I love Kawasaki sneaking in there.
[26:49]We're made in America.
[26:52]The irony of it is that Costco's the one place
[26:54]where you can get tuna and a Kawasaki.
[26:56]That's true.
[26:59]That's probably why it happened.
[26:59]When you really think about the tariff situation,
[27:01]and if these companies are gonna sue
[27:02]the American government to be reimbursed for the tariffs,
[27:05]that was passed on to us in the form of
[27:07]increased shipping costs, increased tax costs.
[27:10]Why can't I get my refund on the stuff that I ordered?
[27:13]I think we got $200 billion of tariff money.
[27:19]My suggestion, reparations.
[27:22]Happy Black History Month, everybody.
[27:35]Ah, that shit ain't gonna happen.
[27:39]In the form of a Costco card.
[27:43]But yes, according to President Trump,
[27:45]the American people loved the tariffs.
[27:48]I made a speech at a factory.
[27:50]They made steel products.
[27:51]And I said, how are you?
[27:53]Nice to meet you.
[27:55]How's business?
[27:56]President, I'd love to kiss you.
[27:59]This is a very powerful man.
[28:00]I don't wanna be kissed by that man.
[28:02]He said, sir, I wanna kiss you so badly.
[28:04]He said, sir, I wanna kiss you.
[28:06]I said, why?
[28:07]He said, because we were down to work in one hour a week
[28:11]and then you came in and imposed tariffs.
[28:13]Trump always sounds like
[28:16]they just gave him the anesthesia and he's like,
[28:21]he's trying so hard to stay awake and it's like,
[28:24]and then the guy said, may I kiss you?
[28:26]I don't wanna kiss you, I don't know.
[28:28]So Trump does understand the concept of consent.
[28:31]That wasn't always clear, but it seems like that.
[28:38]Did that really happen?
[28:40]Do you think the president was actually a caustic
[28:47]sensually by a steel worker?
[28:49]Someone would come up to him and go,
[28:51]I really want to kiss you.
[28:52]And then he would go, why?
[28:55]What?
[28:57]Do you wanna find out why
[28:59]or do you wanna get the fuck out of there?
[29:02]And what does that have to do with the storm?
[29:05]I thought it was about tariffs and he's like,
[29:07]and it was in this hot Georgia warehouse.
[29:11]This totally buff man came up to me.
[29:13]He had a six pack, it was almost an eight pack.
[29:17]He was holding baby oil.
[29:21]Oh, that's where it goes to?
[29:26]Shirtless steel worker dude.
[29:28]Tell me, what is the story?
[29:31]Okay, well it's this guy, we all love him.
[29:33]He's learning about new cities.
[29:35]And it's about the wet man.
[29:36]Oh, and the sad boy.
[29:39]The story is about what is happening in Iran.
[29:42]And I forget what we're allowed to call it.
[29:45]The story is Operation Epic Fury,
[29:47]the United States and Israel's latest military strikes
[29:50]against Iran's security apparatus.
[29:52]Let's get down to it.
[29:53]First question for the panel.
[29:55]Are we at war?
[29:56]Yeah, yeah, of course it's a war.
[29:58]How do you know?
[29:59]How did, what made, define a war?
[30:00]I know it when I see it.
[30:03]It's like pornography.
[30:05]It's the same thing.
[30:07]You call it a distraction from the Epstein files.
[30:10]You could call it, yeah, you could call it
[30:14]a favorite to Israel, whatever you like.
[30:17]Oh, let's applause for that one I noticed.
[30:20]As Michael said, it is like pornography
[30:22]in that all the people at the White House
[30:23]watching it have a boner.
[30:25]Oh, is it a war, is it not a war?
[30:29]The one group of people you shouldn't be asking
[30:31]for a straight answer is Republicans.
[30:33]We may have casualties that often happens in war.
[30:38]I don't know if this is technically a war.
[30:40]Strategic strikes are not war.
[30:41]We set the terms of this war.
[30:44]We're not at war right now.
[30:45]I wouldn't call this a war
[30:47]as much as I'd call it a conflict
[30:48]that should be very short and sweet.
[30:51]I have to go back and look at the war.
[30:53]I'll tell you, it'll be a war
[30:55]when Trump claims that he's stopped it.
[30:57]Yes.
[30:59]Ohio rep Mike Turner is a member of the House Committee
[31:02]on Armed Services.
[31:04]What's his opinion about the W word?
[31:07]There's a difference between using the term
[31:09]of the aspect of during the conflict
[31:13]of the environment of war versus it being a war war.
[31:17]This is a military conflict.
[31:20]You ever been accused of cheating,
[31:22]but like, but it wasn't sex.
[31:26]You was just like, you just like, just a tip.
[31:28]Like, is this just the tip of war?
[31:32]I was going to say he sounded like when Bill Clinton said
[31:35]that depends what your definition of is is.
[31:38]Is or was Iran an imminent threat
[31:42]to the United States and its allies?
[31:45]Well, it sure as fuck is now.
[31:47]I mean, it's, obviously there's all sorts
[31:50]of possible threats in the world,
[31:52]but the actions that have been taken
[31:53]without any kind of planning at all
[31:56]is only going to result in an increased threat
[31:58]and more threats and threat of World War III.
[32:00]And that's the part I don't like is that we didn't.
[32:03]Wait a minute, I agree with Amber.
[32:10]I don't like the World War III party either.
[32:14]Here's South Carolina Senator
[32:15]and Huckleberry Hound impersonator, Lindsey Graham,
[32:19]with a little bit of a clarification.
[32:20]Any regime that embraces a cult of death
[32:26]that's killed Americans,
[32:27]vows to kill Americans in the future,
[32:29]is a imminent threat.
[32:32]And it doesn't have to be imminent to me
[32:33]because you don't want it to be imminent.
[32:36]The whole idea is for it not to be imminent, dumbass.
[32:39]We've all had a word of the day calendar before
[32:42]and imminent seems to be his for now.
[32:43]And so the thought is, I guess,
[32:46]we'll be the direct threat
[32:47]before anyone's an imminent one to us.
[32:50]When he describes an imminent threat
[32:53]as anybody who can kill Americans
[32:56]and has designs on Americans,
[32:57]he's describing the Trump administration.
[33:06]Oh, I'm not joining in, I'm gonna host.
[33:17]So we're still iffy on calling it a war.
[33:23]Question to the panel,
[33:24]what name did Florida Congressman John Rutherford have
[33:28]for the military action in Iran?
[33:30]Marcus.
[33:33]Thanks to a typo in a press release
[33:35]sent by the Florida rep,
[33:37]John kicked off a whole wave of memes when he called it
[33:41]Operation Epic Furry.
[33:43]Right.
[33:45]Which led to memes like this being posted.
[33:51]Now, some people are calling it a war,
[33:53]some people are calling it a regime change,
[33:55]but it all means the same thing.
[33:57]People are losing their lives.
[33:58]Question, how is Secretary Heksef
[34:00]honoring the American service members
[34:03]who have already lost their lives in this operation?
[34:08]You be Heksef, how do you feel
[34:09]about the death of the troops?
[34:10]No troops have died, you died, I'll kill you.
[34:14]You're close.
[34:15]Really?
[34:16]Here's Heksef.
[34:17]When a few drones get through,
[34:20]or tragic things happen, it's front page news.
[34:24]I get it, the press only wants
[34:25]to make the president look bad,
[34:26]but try for once to report the reality.
[34:29]How inconsiderate of those soldiers
[34:36]to be killed in war just to make the president
[34:40]look bad.
[34:41]Trump doesn't need the press to make him look bad,
[34:44]that's what his hands are for.
[34:48]Or his noosey, last time we talked about that.
[34:51]Wouldn't you just be Russian to be like,
[34:54]our fucking heroes, we love them so much,
[34:58]they gave their lives for,
[34:59]this man was like, who, where?
[35:02]You are.
[35:04]Now for bonus points, who did Secretary Heksef blame
[35:08]for pushing this narrative about dead soldiers
[35:12]ahead of the success of the mission thus far?
[35:15]Bad Bunny.
[35:16]Meghan Markle.
[35:17]Black people.
[35:19]Did you just go straight to black people?
[35:23]Am I right?
[35:24]I feel right.
[35:26]He blamed a TV network, so try again.
[35:28]BET.
[35:29]Shh, shh, shh.
[35:30]Ha, ha, ha.
[35:32]You PN.
[35:38]Here's who Caroline Leavitt blamed on Wednesday.
[35:41]The press does only want to make the president
[35:43]look bad, that's a fact.
[35:46]Especially you, no, listen to me.
[35:48]Especially you and especially CNN.
[35:52]Good job, you guys.
[35:53]Yeah, fuck CNN.
[35:54]Oh.
[35:56]Marco Rubio says that this mission in Iran
[35:59]is all about objectives.
[36:01]The objective of this mission is the destruction
[36:03]of their ballistic missile capabilities
[36:05]and of their naval capabilities.
[36:07]I'm telling you what the objectives of this operation are.
[36:09]That's the objective of the mission.
[36:11]That's the objective of this mission.
[36:12]Our objectives are missiles,
[36:14]I don't know how long it'll take.
[36:15]We have objectives.
[36:16]We will do this as long as it takes
[36:17]to achieve those objectives
[36:18]and we will achieve those objectives.
[36:20]We've all had a word of the day, Calvin.
[36:22]Ha, ha, ha.
[36:26]What are we doing in Iran?
[36:28]Objectives.
[36:31]According to Pete Hicksoff,
[36:32]the purpose for being in Iran is all about one thing.
[36:35]This was never meant to be a fair fight
[36:38]and it is not a fair fight.
[36:41]We are punching them while they're down,
[36:44]which is exactly how it should be.
[36:46]What?
[36:47]Listen, listen.
[36:48]Terrible war speech,
[36:50]inspiring football locker room halftime speech right there.
[36:55]You remember Remember the Titans
[36:56]before they ran the trick play at the end of the game?
[36:59]You blitz all night.
[37:02]Make sure they never forget the night
[37:04]they played the Titans.
[37:07]Do you think anyone here
[37:08]knows what you're talking about?
[37:10]Nope.
[37:13]Before Medal of Honor ceremony this week,
[37:15]Trump explained how exciting he thought the strikes were.
[37:19]They said, oh, well,
[37:20]if the president wants to do it really quickly after that,
[37:22]he'll get bored.
[37:23]I don't get bored.
[37:25]There's nothing boring about this.
[37:26]Do you agree with that, Pete?
[37:28]No, we don't get bored.
[37:29]I never get bored.
[37:31]If I got bored, I wouldn't be standing here right now.
[37:32]I guarantee you that.
[37:34]Isn't this the same man who fell asleep
[37:35]at his own trial?
[37:38]Question, what was the big takeaway from Trump's comments
[37:41]at that Medal of Honor ceremony?
[37:43]Well, he's a little sensitive
[37:44]about lasting a long time.
[37:48]I'm not worried.
[37:49]He's always claiming things are longer
[37:50]than they actually are.
[37:53]I'm going to make a sex joke too.
[37:54]I just have to think of it.
[37:57]The big takeaway from the Medal of Honor ceremony
[37:59]is that the president is focused on domestic matters.
[38:02]We have a lot of great service members here with us too
[38:05]in this beautiful building.
[38:07]Isn't it beautiful?
[38:08]See that nice drape?
[38:10]When that comes down right now,
[38:11]you see a very, very deep hole.
[38:14]But in about a year and a half from now,
[38:16]you're going to see a very, very beautiful building.
[38:19]And there's your entrance to it right there.
[38:21]I picked those drapes in my first term.
[38:24]I always liked gold.
[38:26]But I think we can save a lot of money.
[38:27]I just saved curtains.
[38:31]You ever wonder if Melania gets nervous
[38:32]when Trump talk about digging holes out in the yard?
[38:36]If he's digging holes on the golf course,
[38:38]then yeah, she's got something to worry about.
[38:40]Yeah.
[38:41]I'm just saying that's where he buried his first wife.
[38:46]People are upset about Trump meandering on
[38:48]and rambling about drapes at a Medal of Honor ceremony
[38:51]because they think he should be focused on
[38:53]whatever the hell this nasty ass rash is on his wife.
[38:56]That's what I'm saying.
[38:57]You got to dab some diet coconut, brother, you got to.
[39:01]This is like the thing that shows up
[39:03]in a zombie movie where all the people,
[39:04]all the survivors kick you out of the community.
[39:07]It's good rolling you, baby.
[39:08]I'm good, I'm good.
[39:10]Operations in Iran began at 1.15 a.m. Eastern time
[39:15]on February 28th, which is kind of an odd time,
[39:18]but I think we've all made bad decisions
[39:20]at one o'clock in the morning, so that's fair.
[39:23]But Trump actually gave the order for the 1.15 a.m.
[39:26]strikes at 3.38 p.m., almost 10 hours earlier
[39:31]the day before.
[39:32]It's a question, where did Trump go
[39:34]after deciding to bomb Iran?
[39:37]Epstein's Island.
[39:38]Yep.
[39:40]Golden Corral.
[39:42]This is the ballpark.
[39:43]Really?
[39:44]Dallas 5-2.
[39:45]Panda Express.
[39:45]No, it's a uniquely Texas spot.
[39:48]Oh, but the Cinnabon at the San Antonio airport.
[39:52]Trump stopped at a water burger
[39:54]in Corpus Christi, Texas.
[39:57]Check it out.
[39:59]Now, okay, you ready?
[40:00]Can you handle this?
[40:01]Hamburgers for all.
[40:04]I'm gonna get some stuff for Air Force One,
[40:07]and I'm gonna get the hell out of here, all right?
[40:12]We're all blessed, okay?
[40:13]You know for a fact, he didn't pay
[40:15]for a single hamburger.
[40:18]He was like, everyone gets one.
[40:21]Tell me, what is the story?
[40:23]That's the Italian flag.
[40:25]That's wet, man.
[40:27]Oh, straight-a-form was.
[40:28]Oh, that's expensive, that's expensive.
[40:30]Yep.
[40:31]What's the story?
[40:32]We're living in hell?
[40:33]Yeah.
[40:35]The story is the war in Iran,
[40:36]the administration is selling it,
[40:38]but is anybody buying it is the bigger question.
[40:40]Now, I think we can all agree
[40:42]that the best option is to not have a war,
[40:45]but as the great Slim Charles said on the wire,
[40:47]once you in it, you in it.
[40:49]Mm-hmm.
[40:50]So question to the American government,
[40:53]how's that timeline thing going?
[40:55]President Trump also telling Time Magazine this week
[40:58]that, quote, I have no time limits on anything.
[41:01]President Trump told CBS News, quote,
[41:03]I think the war is very complete, pretty much.
[41:05]We won, we won the bet, in the first hour it was over.
[41:08]When it's over, and I don't think it's gonna be long.
[41:11]When are you gonna know when it's over?
[41:13]When I feel it.
[41:14]Okay.
[41:15]I feel it in my bones.
[41:16]It seems as though we've moved away from weeks
[41:17]and just onto vibes.
[41:18]It is, war is vibes.
[41:21]Everybody knows that famous quote.
[41:22]Is that also from the wire?
[41:23]No, that's not from the wire, no.
[41:26]So now, the administration says that there's only
[41:27]one person that's in charge of calling the shots
[41:30]on this war, who is that person?
[41:32]Netanyahu.
[41:33]The ghost of Jeffrey Epstein.
[41:38]If he's dead, if he's dead.
[41:41]The person that's making the decisions
[41:42]is actually the exact person you wish it was.
[41:45]The president has set a very specific mission
[41:48]to accomplish, and so it's not for me to posit
[41:50]whether it's the beginning, the middle, or the end.
[41:52]I love wet man.
[41:54]That man just, it's so drenched at all times.
[41:59]Is he doing drugs, and it's just making him a juicy boy?
[42:02]Every day.
[42:03]I'm not even a wet man.
[42:06]I'll tell you what, when I watch him speak,
[42:08]I turn into a juicy boy as well.
[42:12]Are you saying that our secretary of war
[42:14]does like 40 burpees before every press conference
[42:17]and then just comes out and just jacked them ready?
[42:19]And then he shadow boxes and does a lot of like,
[42:21]you are a defense secretary.
[42:28]How Republicans as a whole feeling about the war, gang?
[42:31]Nobody wants this war.
[42:34]Well, except Netanyahu.
[42:35]Yeah, that's right.
[42:36]Nobody's into it.
[42:37]Nobody, the Republicans are gone,
[42:39]the Democrats were never there.
[42:40]Who is this for?
[42:41]According to White House press secretary
[42:42]Caroline Levitt, quote,
[42:44]Republicans are unanimously supportive
[42:46]of President Trump's bold decision
[42:49]to launch combat operations.
[42:52]Ah, yes.
[42:53]The only thing Republicans are unanimous about
[42:55]is that they hate taxes and they hate good haircuts.
[42:58]Is it true that the Republicans are unanimous
[43:01]in supporting this war, is what Caroline Levitt's saying?
[43:03]Is that the right thing?
[43:04]Well, she's always told the truth, so yeah.
[43:06]I haven't seen a lot of Republicans
[43:08]coming out like full-throated,
[43:10]I should rephrase that.
[43:11]I haven't seen a lot of Republicans.
[43:13]One Republican that has been coming out in full support
[43:18]Yes.
[43:19]Is South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham.
[43:23]What do you mean you ain't got no more mint and juleps?
[43:25]What do you mean you ain't got no more mint and juleps?
[43:28]Lindsey Graham has been salivating for war
[43:31]with Iran for years and now that it's happening,
[43:33]oh boy, he's happy and he's got no time
[43:36]for people who disagree with him.
[43:38]So we have a commander-in-chief in President Trump
[43:40]who I think is Ronald Reagan plus plus plus.
[43:43]If President Trump had not done this,
[43:45]they could have had a nuclear capability
[43:47]within months, weeks, not months.
[43:49]To all those who don't believe that,
[43:51]you're stupid, you're a fool.
[43:54]He's just like the president
[43:56]who had Alzheimer's plus plus plus.
[44:00]What is President Trump now calling
[44:03]the military action in Iran?
[44:05]It's a rondeley.
[44:08]Is it a jaunt with missiles?
[44:11]That's a pretty solid guess.
[44:13]I think I do know.
[44:14]Is it an excursion?
[44:18]It's just a little excursion, baby.
[44:21]Just a few missiles, baby.
[44:22]Why you tripping?
[44:23]And the president makes it perfectly clear
[44:26]that he has his priorities in order.
[44:29]We did a little excursion.
[44:30]We had to take this little couple of weeks,
[44:32]few weeks of excursion, but it's been incredible.
[44:36]Our military is unbelievable, the job they're doing.
[44:39]So we had to take an excursion,
[44:41]but it's doing well, the market's holding up well.
[44:44]You just said it is a little excursion
[44:47]and you said it is a war.
[44:48]So which one is it?
[44:50]Well, it's both.
[44:51]Did you see how many times he circled back
[44:54]to say excursion?
[44:55]He's really trying to get it to take that word.
[44:59]Going through late stage dementia,
[44:59]certain things get stuck in your brain on a loop.
[45:02]I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone here.
[45:06]Our audience all has late stage dementia.
[45:09]The Miriam Webster definition of excursion,
[45:14]a usually brief pleasure trip.
[45:17]Oh my God.
[45:20]Where's the pleasure part of this excursion?
[45:23]You didn't see Lindsey Graham in that talking head.
[45:25]He seemed like he's having extreme pleasure right now.
[45:29]It's also like, whatever, improv, right?
[45:31]Yes and, he just yes ands them in this grand circle.
[45:34]It's like, thank you, it is both.
[45:37]You are brilliant, excursion and a war, that's it.
[45:41]How was the war actually going?
[45:43]No matter how much we bombed them,
[45:45]Iran has control of a very, very important
[45:49]piece of geography within the region.
[45:52]What are they in control of over there?
[45:53]The Hard Rock Cafe Tehran.
[45:58]What piece of geography is Iran in control of?
[46:02]The Strait of Hormuz.
[46:03]The dire straits of Hormuz.
[46:06]It is the Strait of Hormuz,
[46:07]seen there, trying to just put the tip in.
[46:13]We have to look at it.
[46:15]Put the picture back up,
[46:16]it looked like it's throwing it back.
[46:17]Nah, it wouldn't fit in.
[46:19]The strait is one of the most important
[46:21]energy choke points.
[46:23]One fifth of all crude oil flows through them.
[46:26]Graham likes it, it's a choke point.
[46:27]Now I get it.
[46:30]Here's the spokesman for Iran's military command.
[46:33]We will never allow even a single liter of oil
[46:36]to pass through the Strait of Hormuz
[46:38]for the benefit of the United States,
[46:40]the Zionists, or their partners.
[46:42]I did not think he sounded like that.
[46:44]That's crazy.
[46:46]How is it, after all this time,
[46:49]there's still just one path,
[46:50]the most important path of resources in the world,
[46:53]and no one's like, you know, you can just go that way.
[46:56]There's just one path.
[46:57]There is another road, the gay of Hormuz,
[47:00]but it's much,
[47:03]much more, you like that,
[47:04]it's much more complicated.
[47:06]What else did Iran reportedly do
[47:08]to the Strait of Hormuz that made headlines?
[47:11]Oh, they're mining the shit out of it right now.
[47:13]On Tuesday, it was reported that Iran
[47:15]was laying mines in the strait.
[47:18]Trump was quick to address this news,
[47:20]posting on True Social, quote,
[47:23]if Iran has put out any mines in the Strait of Hormuz,
[47:27]we want them removed immediately.
[47:29]If, for any reason, mines were placed
[47:31]and they were not removed forthwith,
[47:33]the military consequences to Iran
[47:36]will be at a level never seen before.
[47:39]Oh shit, new Trump truth just dropped.
[47:43]General, general.
[47:44]Ebrahim, pick up the mines.
[47:46]We gotta do a forthwith.
[47:48]Between Iranian mines and American strikes,
[47:54]the strait has become extremely dangerous
[47:56]and it's now described as Death Valley.
[47:59]Knowing all of this,
[48:00]the president says the Strait of Hormuz
[48:02]is open for business.
[48:04]He spoke to reporters at the White House on Wednesday,
[48:07]but before we get to what he said,
[48:09]please check out this photo
[48:10]from the impromptu press briefing there.
[48:13]Whoa.
[48:14]Yeah, there's a honey-baked president right there, boy.
[48:17]The makeup is shrieking from his eye, you see that?
[48:22]He sweats so much,
[48:23]it's me, Jeffrey Epstein.
[48:27]Here's Trump's advice for ships in the Strait of Hormuz.
[48:30]Are you talking to the CEOs of various oil companies
[48:34]encouraging them to use the Strait of Hormuz right now?
[48:37]Yeah, I think they should.
[48:38]I think they should, I think they should use it.
[48:41]Yeah, what could happen?
[48:42]Go ahead, go ahead.
[48:43]Why not?
[48:44]It's going like this.
[48:45]Iran repeatedly attacking the flow of Middle East oil,
[48:48]at least six ships targeted in the last 24 hours.
[48:52]Overnight, two oil tankers hit off southern Iraq.
[48:54]Videos circulating online show one of them ablaze.
[48:57]President Trump still sounding optimistic,
[49:00]claiming the vital Strait of Hormuz
[49:02]is in, quote, great shape.
[49:04]Yes, that shape is a mushroom cloud.
[49:10]Now, obviously, the violence and uncertainty
[49:13]is impacting gas prices,
[49:14]which have risen 65 cents a gallon nationwide.
[49:17]Panel, how high do you think gas prices are going to go
[49:21]before it's all over?
[49:22]$7.
[49:24]I live in California.
[49:25]It is $7 now.
[49:26]I know, that's right.
[49:28]That's why I drive a Zero Guilt vehicle, a Tesla.
[49:32]But...
[49:35]No, I'm kidding.
[49:35]I drive an oil tanker.
[49:39]They grow like a paternity test episode.
[49:41]Like, you're the bad dad that came out.
[49:45]Right now, oil costs about $100 a barrel,
[49:48]but Iran says we need to get ready for oil
[49:51]to cost $200 a barrel.
[49:56]Here's Energy Secretary Chris Wright with the response.
[49:59]Do you agree that people need to be prepared for that?
[50:03]We're going through short-term energy disruption
[50:06]for just huge long-term gain.
[50:08]You're seeing Iran's behavior.
[50:10]Could that hit short-term mean $200 a barrel?
[50:18]I would say unlikely.
[50:22]That means yes, it's going up to $200 a barrel.
[50:25]I love it when people pretend there's a delay, you know?
[50:29]I mean, there was a delay.
[50:30]It was in his brain.
[50:32]What is the story?
[50:34]Okay, this is our best friend, and that is a map.
[50:38]Straight up for a moose.
[50:39]The doors are closed, so I'm just gonna say
[50:42]this story is about how everyone hates us
[50:45]and they're right.
[50:46]Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[50:48]I agree with that.
[50:49]Yes, the story is Donald Trump goes to war
[50:50]with the world, and people abroad are not fans of it,
[50:54]but how's it going here at home?
[50:56]If you could say something to President Trump
[50:58]and he was gonna hear you right now, what would it be?
[51:01]You're a worthless pile of shit.
[51:05]And you voted for him how many times?
[51:07]Three times.
[51:09]That was my bad.
[51:10]Apparently, I'm an idiot.
[51:16]The most honest person in America.
[51:18]Three times.
[51:19]Now as the war continues, President Trump
[51:20]seems perpetually surprised that Iran is actually
[51:24]fighting back during a war.
[51:28]So now Trump, a man who seems to burn bridges
[51:30]while he's only halfway across the bridge,
[51:34]has finally realized, oh dear,
[51:36]I need help from other countries.
[51:38]How's that getting help from other countries going?
[51:40]Yeah, apparently when you do stuff
[51:41]without asking people,
[51:42]they don't wanna help you afterwards.
[51:44]Here's Dan Amash with how some of our allies responded.
[51:47]Germany, this war has nothing to do with NATO.
[51:49]It's not NATO's war.
[51:50]UK, we will not be drawn into the wider war.
[51:53]Italy, Italy is not part of the conflict.
[51:55]Australia, we will not be sending a ship
[51:57]to the Strait of Hormuz.
[51:58]Japan, we are proceeding with consideration.
[52:02]We are considering his Japanese for fuck you.
[52:07]When Trump met with the Japanese Prime Minister,
[52:09]Senai Takishi, what happened in the meeting?
[52:12]He thought it would be a great idea
[52:14]to make a joke about bombing Pearl Harbor.
[52:17]Why didn't you tell US allies in Europe and Asia,
[52:22]like Japan, about the war before attacking Europe?
[52:25]We didn't tell anybody about it
[52:27]because we wanted surprise.
[52:29]Who knows better about surprise than Japan, okay?
[52:33]Why didn't you tell me about Pearl Harbor, okay?
[52:37]Right?
[52:38]To be fair, he got some laughs in the room.
[52:40]He got like two groans.
[52:42]I'll take it.
[52:45]Also love, he did the joke, it bombed.
[52:47]And then he goes, right?
[52:50]Ladies know what I'm talking about, right?
[52:53]He made the attack without telling the other countries
[52:55]because normally in war, you go,
[52:56]hey, I'm gonna go over there and punch him in the face.
[52:58]Make sure you got my back.
[52:59]But Trump instead punched people in the face
[53:02]and then came back and go,
[53:03]hey, I just punched him in the face.
[53:05]Would you mind helping me fight him?
[53:08]Here he is hedging his bets.
[53:10]We have the strongest military by far in the world.
[53:12]We don't need them, but it's interesting.
[53:16]I'm almost doing it in some cases,
[53:17]not because we need them,
[53:18]but because I wanna find out how they react.
[53:20]Oh, he's going through the stages of grief.
[53:22]That's denied.
[53:25]According to Trump, it'll be quote,
[53:27]very bad for the future of NATO if they don't help us.
[53:31]He's gonna bomb NATO.
[53:34]He's gonna bomb the hell out of NATO.
[53:35]Britain's former chief of the defense staff
[53:37]doesn't want NATO to get pulled into this war.
[53:40]NATO was created as a
[53:42]underlined four times defensive alliance.
[53:44]It was not a alliance that was designed
[53:46]for one of the allies to go on a war of choice
[53:49]and then oblige everybody else to follow.
[53:52]Is that red thing his heart rate?
[53:56]So now Trump's in a bit of a pickle.
[53:57]He started a war that no one wants to help in
[53:59]and there's no clear way out of that war,
[54:01]but Trump is a scrappy guy who's always overcome adversity
[54:04]and he's overcome adversity all by himself.
[54:07]He doesn't need people.
[54:08]Is Donald Trump a self-made man?
[54:14]The truth of the matter is that
[54:15]Donald Trump sees himself as self-made.
[54:18]In 2015, he was asked this question
[54:21]at an election town hall.
[54:23]With the exception of your family,
[54:24]have you ever been told no?
[54:26]It has not been easy for me
[54:27]and you know, I started off in Brooklyn.
[54:29]My father gave me a small loan of a million dollars.
[54:32]Only thing he made himself was that color.
[54:36]That's great.
[54:41]From the very moment Donald Trump
[54:43]has started in business,
[54:44]there has always been somebody there
[54:47]to bail him out when he failed
[54:49]and he has failed a lot.
[54:51]In fact, Wikipedia has a whole category called
[54:55]businesses of Donald Trump that went bankrupt
[54:59]and it has 24 separate pages.
[55:04]Question to the panel.
[55:04]What is your favorite failed Donald Trump business?
[55:08]I like the Trump Taj Mahal going down.
[55:10]That was always a big one.
[55:11]The casino, the Atlantic City.
[55:12]Yeah, because on behalf of India, fuck you.
[55:15]Well, of all the failed Trump businesses,
[55:20]there was this one.
[55:21]The Sharper Image is one of my favorite stores
[55:24]with fantastic products of all kinds.
[55:27]That's why I'm thrilled they agree with me.
[55:30]Trump steaks are the world's greatest steaks
[55:33]and I mean that in every sense of the word.
[55:35]How many senses of the word are there?
[55:37]Yeah.
[55:39]The bigger question is why are you buying a steak
[55:41]at an electronics store?
[55:43]According to the former CEO of Sharper Image,
[55:46]quote, we literally sold almost no steak.
[55:51]In every sense of the word.
[55:54]So the man who failed at casinos, failed at hotels,
[55:56]failed at steaks has gotten us into a war
[55:58]that he promised he would never start
[56:00]and now he's resorting to what he always does
[56:03]when things aren't going his way.
[56:04]He blames other people.
[56:06]Does anyone know which one of our allies
[56:10]Trump threw under the bus on Wednesday night?
[56:12]He posted this long Truth Social rant
[56:14]about Israel bombing an oil and gas field
[56:17]that was jointly owned by Qatar and Iran
[56:20]and Qatar is a U.S. ally
[56:22]and he said Israel will never do that again
[56:24]and Qatar, we're not gonna bomb any more
[56:26]oil and gas fields and tsk tsk, shame on you.
[56:29]That is correct.
[56:30]Points to you, Ari.
[56:31]It was Israel, Wednesday night on Truth Social.
[56:34]Trump posted, quote, Israel out of anger
[56:37]for what has taken place in the US.
[56:40]The U.S. is the only place in the Middle East
[56:42]has violently lashed out at a major facility in Iran.
[56:45]The United States knew nothing about this particular attack.
[56:49]You know how bad it's gotta be for Trump
[56:52]to distance himself from you?
[56:54]He's still kicking with Rudy Giuliani.
[56:56]So Trump is cornered, he's alienated his allies,
[57:02]angered his supporters and even some of his own staff
[57:05]won't back him up.
[57:05]There's only one option.
[57:07]Here's the president on Wednesday.
[57:09]Finished off what's left of the Iranian terror state
[57:12]and let the countries that use it,
[57:13]we don't, be responsible for the so-called straight.
[57:16]That would get some of our non-responsive allies
[57:19]in gear in fast present DJT.
[57:21]He misspelled straight.
[57:24]Maybe it's like a Gulf of America type situation.
[57:27]Right, right, right.
[57:28]So from now on, that will be how it is spelled.
[57:31]Michael and Ari, watch the clip.
[57:35]Tell me, what is the story?
[57:37]Capitol Hill.
[57:38]Okay.
[57:38]Oh, that's that guy, Bruce Wayne.
[57:40]Mark Wayne Mullen.
[57:40]I'm gonna go with Bruce Wayne.
[57:41]And then, Corellia DeVille.
[57:43]Yes, of course, Cash Patel.
[57:46]Yeah, Tulsi Gabbard, Cash Patel went to the Capitol
[57:49]and like all meetings with Trump officials
[57:53]talking to Congress people, it did not go well.
[57:55]The story is, while Trump's focus is on other countries,
[57:59]the Senate was focused on domestic matters this last week
[58:02]at the confirmation hearing for Trump's nominee
[58:04]to head up the Department of Homeland Security,
[58:07]Senator Mark Wayne Mullen,
[58:09]like a business casual woodchuck right there.
[58:13]Says it's gonna be three more weeks of winter.
[58:14]Yeah.
[58:15]Three more weeks of winter.
[58:18]Confirmation hearing is to hold a prospective appointee's
[58:20]feet to the fire.
[58:21]And there's nobody better to do the scrutinizing
[58:24]than Iowa Senator Joni Ernst.
[58:26]I am going to say to the president,
[58:28]I am really upset that he has made your nomination.
[58:32]Why?
[58:33]Because I will be losing from the Senate
[58:36]one of the best friends that I have here, truly.
[58:43]Siri, play End of the Road by Boyz II Men.
[58:49]One person really seemed to lead the charge
[58:51]against Senator Mullen in the hearing.
[58:54]Which Republican was it?
[58:55]Was it Rand Paul?
[58:57]The only Senator who asked his barber
[58:58]to make him look like the dude from The Bear.
[59:00]Look at that haircut.
[59:02]Senator Paul gave a hard no vote against Mullen
[59:05]adding quote, I think there are anger issues.
[59:09]You did many interviews in which you justified the violence
[59:12]as historically justified by precedents
[59:15]such as caning and dueling.
[59:17]What I was simply pointing out
[59:18]is some of the rules that still apply to this body.
[59:22]For instance, dueling with two consenting adults
[59:25]is still there.
[59:26]I was pointing out what is still acceptable.
[59:28]It's been illegal for 170 years.
[59:31]There's no precedent for legal dueling.
[59:34]We should bring back dueling.
[59:37]But only between two consenting adults.
[59:40]Question, does anyone know where Rand
[59:41]and Mark Wayne's conflicts began?
[59:44]When Rand Paul's neighbor beat the shit out of him.
[59:49]And then Mark Wayne Mullen said to Rand Paul,
[59:51]you asshole, you probably deserved it.
[59:54]Point!
[59:54]Yes indeed.
[59:56]Rand Paul's beef with Mark Wayne
[59:57]goes all the way back to 2017
[59:59]after Rand was assaulted by his neighbor
[1:00:01]in a property line dispute.
[1:00:03]After that, Mark Wayne repeatedly told a group
[1:00:05]of voters that he understood completely
[1:00:08]why his neighbor might want to attack Senator Paul.
[1:00:12]I don't know the details of this dispute with a neighbor,
[1:00:15]but I've lived in Washington
[1:00:16]and covered politics long enough to be able to say
[1:00:19]he is, let's just say, not one of the most
[1:00:20]beloved senators on Capitol Hill.
[1:00:23]Why?
[1:00:24]Well, I think you might want to ask his neighbor.
[1:00:26]There seems to be another element of Mark Wayne's past
[1:00:31]that is coming back to haunt him right now.
[1:00:34]What part of Mullen's backstory
[1:00:37]is still being brought into question?
[1:00:38]He was a stripper.
[1:00:39]No.
[1:00:40]No.
[1:00:41]What would be Mark Wayne Mullen's stripper name?
[1:00:43]Mark Wayne full-on.
[1:00:46]What?
[1:00:49]Mark Wayne conserved Mullen full-on, like a full-on.
[1:00:52]Like a boner?
[1:00:53]Like a boner, yeah.
[1:00:55]Okay.
[1:00:56]Earlier this month, Mark Wayne went on Fox News
[1:00:57]to defend our attacks on Iran, and he said this.
[1:01:00]War is ugly.
[1:01:01]It smells bad, and if anybody's ever been there
[1:01:04]and been able to smell the war that's happened around you
[1:01:09]and taste it and feel it in your nostrils and hear it,
[1:01:12]it's something that you'll never forget.
[1:01:14]Fact check true.
[1:01:17]Okay.
[1:01:17]But can you taste it?
[1:01:18]Can you taste the war?
[1:01:19]I personally have never tasted it,
[1:01:20]but maybe he's been in wars
[1:01:21]that I haven't covered as a journalist,
[1:01:22]so I'm not gonna yuck his yum.
[1:01:29]What is the story?
[1:01:30]All right.
[1:01:32]It's that guy.
[1:01:33]Who's that man?
[1:01:33]Ooh, it's Ireland.
[1:01:34]It's green.
[1:01:36]This is any airport in America right now,
[1:01:38]and that's gas, and that guy is fucked.
[1:01:43]We're painted into a corner in Iran?
[1:01:45]Also, I mean, it seems like a big story.
[1:01:46]You got gas prices, you got the straight-up hormones,
[1:01:50]you got the airports, you got all kinds of stuff.
[1:01:52]Nish, what do you think?
[1:01:53]I'd like to start by saying
[1:01:54]that I'm here on a work visa,
[1:01:56]so I just wanna be incredibly clear.
[1:01:58]I am gonna be telling people
[1:01:59]that I'm Cash Patel's nephew.
[1:02:02]Can you do the eyes, or you gotta do the eyes?
[1:02:12]The story is, with Iran fighting back
[1:02:14]and global economic catastrophe looming,
[1:02:16]it seems that President Trump has painted himself
[1:02:19]into a bit of a corner with this war,
[1:02:22]I guess we're still calling it.
[1:02:23]It's an excursion.
[1:02:24]Whatever the hell you wanna call it.
[1:02:26]It is definitely a war we have already won, right?
[1:02:30]Or, look, here's Caroline Leavitt on Wednesday
[1:02:32]summing it up.
[1:02:33]President Trump does not bluff,
[1:02:35]and he is prepared to unleash hell.
[1:02:37]Any violence beyond this point will be
[1:02:39]because the Iranian regime refused to understand
[1:02:41]they have already been defeated.
[1:02:45]Okay.
[1:02:46]Doesn't that sound like a threat
[1:02:47]from like Bane from Batman?
[1:02:49]Yeah, yeah.
[1:02:50]You refuse to understand
[1:02:52]you have already been defeated.
[1:02:54]Hey, hey, hey, watch that accent, Roy.
[1:02:56]My culture is not your costume.
[1:02:59]Well, it's a little unclear on whether or not
[1:03:01]we've won the war or not,
[1:03:02]but coming into this week,
[1:03:03]Trump backed himself into a corner.
[1:03:06]How did he get himself out of that corner this week?
[1:03:09]He said, if you don't open the Strait of Hormuz
[1:03:12]in 48 hours, I'm gonna bomb the shit out of you
[1:03:16]and all your energy stuff.
[1:03:17]And they were like, yeah, okay, bro.
[1:03:19]And then 48 hours later, he was like, you know what?
[1:03:23]We're gonna give it five days.
[1:03:25]Yeah.
[1:03:26]And then yesterday, he was like, you know what?
[1:03:28]We're gonna give it 10 days
[1:03:30]because negotiations are going so well.
[1:03:32]Yeah.
[1:03:33]He's not negotiating with anybody.
[1:03:35]You know what he should say is,
[1:03:36]have you heard about the Epstein files or something?
[1:03:40]Let's get back to them.
[1:03:42]Why would that be a problem with the president posting
[1:03:45]that he's having negotiations with?
[1:03:47]Because it's not true.
[1:03:48]Not true.
[1:03:49]Double points.
[1:03:51]Because it might not have been true.
[1:03:54]Iran State TV says that Trump capitulated.
[1:03:58]There are no direct or indirect talks
[1:04:00]taking place with the Trump regime.
[1:04:02]I'm not thrilled that I trust Iranian state TV.
[1:04:09]More than I trust my president.
[1:04:10]I believe them.
[1:04:11]I don't believe him.
[1:04:12]Our president insists that this deal is very real.
[1:04:17]They want very much to make a deal.
[1:04:19]We'd like to make a deal too.
[1:04:21]If it goes well,
[1:04:21]we're gonna end up with settling this.
[1:04:24]Otherwise, we'll just keep bombing our little hearts out.
[1:04:27]Now, to the people in the relationship
[1:04:28]up here on the panel,
[1:04:29]is that an effective negotiating strategy?
[1:04:32]Let's work this out or I will blow up our home.
[1:04:36]Are we taking relationship advice from Donald Trump?
[1:04:38]Isn't being in a relationship
[1:04:39]the only thing he's worse at than being president?
[1:04:43]But yes, according to the president,
[1:04:45]if you don't take the deal,
[1:04:46]we will blow up the table
[1:04:47]or as Pete Hex has put it, the next day.
[1:04:50]We negotiate with bombs.
[1:04:52]President has made it clear
[1:04:53]that you will not have a nuclear weapon.
[1:04:55]The War Department agrees our job is to ensure that.
[1:04:57]And so we're keeping our hand on that throttle
[1:05:00]as long as it's hard as is necessary.
[1:05:03]That's right.
[1:05:04]As long as it's hard,
[1:05:06]keep your hand on that long and hard throttle.
[1:05:08]And if that throttle's hard for more than four hours,
[1:05:12]you call a doctor.
[1:05:15]Whenever I see Hex and Trump together on TV,
[1:05:18]I always think, yeah, this is a declining empire.
[1:05:20]And to be fair, I've come from a declining empire.
[1:05:25]Well, to be fair,
[1:05:26]you come from a fully declined empire.
[1:05:28]And let me tell you, lean into the decline, baby.
[1:05:32]Let it all hang out.
[1:05:34]Let it all hang out.
[1:05:36]Well, we don't know for sure
[1:05:38]who's negotiating on the Iranian side.
[1:05:40]Here's who's involved in the deal on our side.
[1:05:43]JD is involved, and Marka is involved,
[1:05:47]and Jared Kushner's involved, very smart guy,
[1:05:50]and Steve Witkoff, smart guy, is involved.
[1:05:55]And I'm involved.
[1:05:56]I'm involved, boy.
[1:05:57]I'm gonna be so big,
[1:05:58]oh, I don't wanna talk about it.
[1:06:00]The president of the United States, Tom.
[1:06:03]Did it seem like he was surprised that he was involved?
[1:06:06]Just received the news.
[1:06:09]Out of that cast of characters in Trump's cabinet,
[1:06:11]who does the Iranian government want to talk with the most?
[1:06:15]Vance.
[1:06:16]I don't think anyone has ever wanted to talk to JD Biden,
[1:06:18]and I would include his wife and children in that list.
[1:06:22]Here's the answer.
[1:06:23]We're hearing from sources at CNN
[1:06:25]who tell my colleague, Kylie Atwood,
[1:06:27]that Iran has actually expressed a preference
[1:06:29]for engaging in talks with the vice president, JD Vance.
[1:06:32]One of the sources told us that the perception
[1:06:35]is that Vance would be intent on wrapping up the conflict
[1:06:38]more so than the other officials.
[1:06:40]Also, JD Vance is the most likely
[1:06:42]to become the new American Ayatollah,
[1:06:44]so it does make some sense.
[1:06:47]You know for a fact that they insist on having JD Vance
[1:06:51]because they wanna see if his head is really that size.
[1:06:57]They're gonna be like,
[1:06:58]hey, welcome.
[1:06:59]Try this hat on.
[1:07:00]You look a little snug, right?
[1:07:05]He's a one-man argument against the concept
[1:07:07]of white supremacy.
[1:07:11]Now, our administration is saying
[1:07:13]that the war is starting to ramp down.
[1:07:15]They say that the Iranian excursion is almost over.
[1:07:18]Question, though.
[1:07:19]What signs are happening right now
[1:07:22]that might indicate that we're still at war?
[1:07:25]Bombs.
[1:07:26]Bombs.
[1:07:27]What comes after the bombs?
[1:07:29]Didn't they send another 10,000 troops?
[1:07:31]True.
[1:07:32]Points right there, yes!
[1:07:33]The Wall Street Journal reports
[1:07:34]that the Pentagon is weighing
[1:07:35]sending another 10,000 U.S. ground troops
[1:07:39]to the Middle East.
[1:07:40]That's according to Department of Defense officials
[1:07:42]with knowledge of the planning.
[1:07:44]Yeah, because we won.
[1:07:45]We're gonna have the ticker tape parade
[1:07:48]with all those troops in the middle of Tehran,
[1:07:50]and they're all gonna be greeting us like liberators.
[1:07:53]Our president has sent the troops,
[1:07:54]but surely he has a good reason for sending the troops.
[1:07:57]He knows more about the conflict than anyone.
[1:08:00]Anyone.
[1:08:01]How does our president get his daily updates
[1:08:05]about what is happening in Iran?
[1:08:07]So, he has folded up a cootie catcher,
[1:08:10]and then when you come in,
[1:08:13]he asks you your favorite color, and then number,
[1:08:17]and then he flips that open,
[1:08:19]and that will tell him what has happened.
[1:08:22]Military officials make Trump a video update
[1:08:25]that shows the biggest, most successful strikes,
[1:08:28]which typically runs for about two minutes,
[1:08:31]and mostly shows clips of stuff blowing up.
[1:08:35]I'm actually surprised he can pay attention
[1:08:37]for two minutes.
[1:08:38]I know, I had the under on that mug.
[1:08:41]Two minutes, that's pretty great.
[1:08:43]He's 100% watching that on the toilet.
[1:08:45]I'm sorry to tell you,
[1:08:47]there is no way that man is not watching that.
[1:08:49]He's getting a video compilation of a war
[1:08:53]that has the potential to reshape the entire world
[1:08:56]that lasts shorter than the top 10 highlights
[1:08:59]on SportsCenter.
[1:09:01]But once again, from a visa perspective,
[1:09:03]I think that is very smart,
[1:09:05]and it frees him up to think about other things
[1:09:07]in the day.
[1:09:08]So, on Thursday, the president said Iran is still
[1:09:12]begging to make a deal.
[1:09:14]They are begging to make a deal, not me.
[1:09:17]They're begging to make a deal.
[1:09:18]The Iranian regime is now admitting to itself
[1:09:21]that they have been decisively defeated.
[1:09:24]They're saying to people, this is a disaster.
[1:09:28]Let's get back to the whole war thing now.
[1:09:30]In the midst of all of this back and forth,
[1:09:32]of whether or not we're winning a war,
[1:09:33]losing a war, whether or not there is a war,
[1:09:35]Iran has found a new weapon
[1:09:38]to fight back against America,
[1:09:40]and Trump specifically.
[1:09:41]Question on, what is Iran's new weapon
[1:09:45]against Trump?
[1:09:45]Oh, videos, those crazy videos.
[1:09:47]Those crazy AI videos.
[1:09:49]Hey, Taram, you are fired.
[1:09:51]You are familiar with this sentence.
[1:09:53]Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[1:09:58]Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[1:10:00]Do you think Trump just think that was Mom Donnie
[1:10:02]from New York City?
[1:10:06]Here's another Iranian video trolling Trump.
[1:10:08]Using his favorite toy, Legos.
[1:10:28]Lean into the decline of America.
[1:10:31]Join us in the expired military powers pile.
[1:10:36]Yeah, this week's golden slot bucket
[1:10:38]for biggest mess at home,
[1:10:39]goes to America's airports.
[1:10:42]Americans suffer hours long wait times
[1:10:44]at some of the nation's largest airports.
[1:10:46]Sneaking around three different floors.
[1:10:48]Probably about a quarter of a mile
[1:10:50]from the main checkpoint area.
[1:10:52]The line continues to go.
[1:10:59]What is the problem with the airports right now?
[1:11:02]They aren't paying TSA.
[1:11:03]So then TSA workers aren't showing up.
[1:11:06]They quit.
[1:11:06]The TSA has been on the verge
[1:11:07]of a total meltdown for over a month
[1:11:09]thanks to congressional failure to pass DHS funding.
[1:11:13]But in the wee hours of Friday morning,
[1:11:15]the Senate approved funding for most of DHS.
[1:11:19]The Senate wakes up Friday morning.
[1:11:21]They go, we're gonna pay TSA.
[1:11:22]We're not gonna give more money to ICE.
[1:11:24]House has to just do the same thing.
[1:11:26]Everybody gets paid.
[1:11:27]How do you think the House voted?
[1:11:30]They didn't and then went on vacation.
[1:11:32]Oh, shit.
[1:11:33]New legislature, who dis?
[1:11:34]Double points.
[1:11:36]Double points.
[1:11:39]The Republicans said not in this house.
[1:11:42]Freaking news, in the fight to fund
[1:11:43]the Department of Homeland Security,
[1:11:45]just last hour, Republican House Speaker Mike Johnson
[1:11:47]railed against the bill that unanimously passed
[1:11:50]in the Republican-led Senate overnight.
[1:11:53]One of Mike Johnson's issues with the funding package
[1:11:55]was that it didn't include funding for ICE,
[1:11:58]who, mind you, is already flush with cash
[1:12:00]thanks to last year's big, beautiful bill.
[1:12:02]Here's Johnson.
[1:12:03]The Republicans are not gonna be a party to this.
[1:12:06]They have taken hostage the funding processes
[1:12:09]of government so that they can impose
[1:12:11]their radical agenda on the American people
[1:12:12]when we can't have any part of it.
[1:12:14]Yes, the radical agenda of paying TSA workers.
[1:12:17]You know, he's gonna make a great contestant
[1:12:21]on Dancing with the Stars.